I seem to spend my whole life in a state of worry at the minute, I worry whether I'm doing enough physio with Nathaniel, whether he'll notice that the neighbours that he loves right next door to us have moved today (he really loves them and saw them everyday!), worry whether we have enough money to do all the things I want to do with and for him and I worry that I worry too much! (Figure that one out!).
The Clinical Psychologist and Learning Disability Nurse asked Heath and I too keep a record of Nathaniel's behaviours for the past week and it was quite hard to do as we were recording 8 behaviours!! Headbanging himself, headbanging others, slapping himself, slapping/hitting others, pinching others, breath holding, hair pulling himself, hair pulling others! We managed it after a fashion and it was quite a shock and kind of a surprise to see the patterns that emerged - early mornings and between 4-6pm were prime times when his behaviour deteriorated drastically. We knew it was worse at some times than others but we never really put the behaviours and the times together and made a connection! So now we know the times of day that Nathaniel gets more stressed and frustrated we can counted this by putting in measures! This is thing that I worry about on a daily basis - are we doing enough to help him? do I have the patience to put the counter measures in place? I doubt myself everyday, but this afternoon I realised that I do the majority of them without even thinking about it now, its second nature to me I think. Like pulling out his vibrating cushion when I can see him getting frustrated by something or getting Lau Lau out for him to cuddle! Being a mum I think means that you worry about things all day everyday, this doesnt't mean that its wrong, only that you are striving to do your best, and whatever you do will be your best! Heath says I'm nurotic sometimes and over analysis things and worry about things that may never happen at all! I just think that I'm a mum!
PS. Nathaniel has eaten 3 ASDA (Walmart for my US friends!) receipts today! He loves shopping lol!
I think nathaniel has a super mummy xx
ReplyDeleteCharl xxx
Aww thank you Charl, I miss you xx
ReplyDeleteGuilt is a part of motherhood, whether we have typical kids or special needs kids. It just isn't something we can avoid. But reading what you've just written, I have to say that you're doing everything you can to help Nethaniel reach his greatest potential. And that's all we can ask of ourselves as we do the work of raising our kids. You're doing a GREAT job.
ReplyDeleteyou are a good Mum, and a good sister too :)
ReplyDeletedo you have slightly more sympathy for our neurotic Mum now?
I worry alot, I also worry that I worry too much. Gareth thinks that if I lived in utopia I would still worry that things were too perfect!
I have something else for you to worry about.............the fact that there are too many miles between us for us to support each other through the rough stuff and belly laugh at the good stuff. I have some CBF stuff that might help if you want it. I miss you ever day my Little Lancashire Hot Pot, LOVE your blog, LOVE your family and LOVE that we met x
ReplyDeleteCBF stuff would be great my lovely Kentish pixie! I really need the help off you me thinks!!! I miss u and the McIntyre clan every day and hate the 298 miles that there are between us, I'm so glad we met and I don't know where I would be without you!!!
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